Friday, December 28, 2012

X-Rated Pick-Up Lines (Sexually Explicit!)

Here are some of the most suggestive, downright dirty lines guaranteed to get you slapped in the face, arrested for sexual harassment, or laid for creativity points!


If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

Wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.

Do you live on a chicken farm because you sure know how to raise cocks.

Do you work at Subway because you just gave me a footlong.

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be cumming on you too.

You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

I hope you like dragons because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.

Your face reminds me of a wrench. Every time I think of it, my nuts tighten.

Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pants pockets inside out.) Would you like to?

I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?

How about a pizza and a fuck? (Target: No!) What's wrong? You don't like pizza?

Do you work for UPS because I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

Is that a keg in your pants because I'd love to tap that ass.

Wanna' go halves on a baby?

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life, and I just want it for one night.

I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

I spent over a grand on Viagra today only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants.

If I have AIDS, would you have sex with me? (Target: No.) Well, I don't, so let's go.

Excuse me, do you give head to strangers? (Target: No.) Well then, allow me to introduce myself.

That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I!

So come back to my place, and if you don't like it, I swear I'll give you a full refund.

Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

Let's play house: you can be the door, and I'll slam you!

My name is milk, and I'll do your body good.

Hi, wanna fuck? (Target: No.) Mind lying down while I do?

Does your ass have Allstate insurance? (Target: No, why?) Well, do you want it to be in good hands?

I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with your face.

I'm gonna' have sex with you tonight, so you might as well be there.

My names (insert name here), just so you know what to scream later.

Since we've been told to reduce waste these days, what do you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire?

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Let's go back to my room and do some math: add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

Your place or mine? Tell you what, I'll flip you for it. Head at my place, tail at yours ;)

Do you like my belt buckle because I think it would look better against your forehead.

Nice fucking weather. Want to?

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the 1st thing that pops up?

You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.

I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since you last checkup?

Hey, I'm looking for treasure. Can I look around your chest?

Only latex stands between our love.

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's x-rated!

Want to play lion tamer? You can get on all fours, and I'll put my head in your mouth.

If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?

How about you be my story, and I'll be your climax?

Let's play titanic. When I say iceberg, you do down.

Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Target: Yes.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?

That t-shirt has to go, but you can stay.

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss but down under.

 Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.

Gee, that's a nice set of legs. What time do they open?

I just popped a Viagra, so we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.

You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.

I'm gay. Do you think you can convert me?

If I'm a pain in your ass we can use more lubricants.

I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. Want me to put some words in your mouth?


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